My goodness, I had a wonderful day. So so wonderful. I did a Senior Lounge (chill, talk and make yr 11-12 students hot chocolate) today for the first time, instead of Student Focus (yr 7-8 games and short talk).

It was so good!! I was a little nervous at first about breaking into groups and saying hi and stuff, but it was so good once I got the hang of it. I went with only one girl from YD, and without a leader, which was a little nerve-racking but we had a great chance to talk while I drove us over there. It was really good because I got to know this girl a lot more, and realised there’s more to her than I thought, and I will now look at her in a different light, which is fantastic because I wasn’t so sure about her. 

The guy from the local church that runs the program thanked us both afterwards and was really pleased because he said other people they’ve had from YD before have been a lot quieter and a little less willing to talk to students, whereas we were both in there talking to some of the girls. Was great!!

Also, I had a few God realisations today. God spoke to me near the start of the year and was like ‘this is going to be a big year for you, and stuff is going to happen in your love life’. I’m not saying that means I will or won’t get a boyfriend, only God knows that at the moment, but I’m definitely already learning things and encountering things to do with that already. Which is so weird, because to be honest I figured that’d happen like… later on in the year? I don’t know. I figured God would wait until I’d learned a little more, grown a little more etc. But no :P Ah well, I’m learning that God is all about doing stuff on the move, growing as you’re experiencing things. The important thing is that I know God’s got it under control and knows what to do and what’s going on even though I have NO IDEA.

Either way… there’s some vague stuff happening. And all this thought I’ve been putting into relationships this past week caused me to have a realisation today. I’m kind of paranoid about relationships. So so so very focused on getting it right, and not wanting to do the wrong thing or jump the gun or anything like that. I’m glad I  haven’t had a relationship at all until now, but at the same time because of that and my parent’s not great and now over marriage and pressure from Christians and church to get relationships totally right the first time… I’m so so so scared I’m going to screw it up, and I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to screw it up. I don’t want to end up divorced. I don’t want to make mistakes, but I need to realise that I probably will make some, it’s part of being human. I’m allowed to make mistakes. As long as I keep God at the centre and pray about everything, God will guide me. Yes, I may stumble, but through that I will learn lessons. God is so good!!

I also had my first ‘one to one’ with my mentor today! I got who I wanted which is AWESOME!! She’s a lot like me. We went to a really cool and quirky cafe and had a chai/coffee and just talked for an hour or so :D Was so so good! I told her all the stuff that happened at youth last year and she agreed that it wasn’t handled well and we talked about why I want to move churches and worship and all that and it was so lovely :) I also shared some of the stuff about how God was like ‘love life stuff will happen’ which I was almost not going to do, but she prayed for  me and will be praying for me, which is so great! 

Basically, God  is doing crazy awesome things in my life, and I’m so sad that tomorrow is Thursday ALREADY. I don’t want to not go to YD for 4 days!!! Ah well :P

I hope you’re all well and happy!